


Homokebukuro

by lemoninagin



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Established Relationship, M/M, Secret Relationship, cute kisses, sleuthing Erika
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-16
Updated: 2016-08-16
Packaged: 2018-08-09 01:30:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,729
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7781632
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lemoninagin/pseuds/lemoninagin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Erika knows practically all of Ikebukuro is gay, but she's particularly determined to get to the bottom of Dotachin's secret homosexual affairs.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Homokebukuro

Erika has always prided herself on being able to sniff out even the barest and most subtext filled nuances of homosexuality. It’s a gift, as she considers it, that she uses with the utmost confidence. She can feel the kinsey scale slide in question around her every time Iza-Iza side glances Shizu-chan during their fights, his eyes flitting down to get an eyeful of his backside in a subtlety lost on most others - but Erika _always_ sees.

 

She notices the tiny spark in his eyes clearly screaming ‘I am so turned on right now’ when Shizu-chan pries up a vending machine or any heavy artillery, sees how he tenses and flushes when Shizu-chan says his name threateningly, long and drawn out. She can feel it, too, in Shizu-chan’s posture when he chases after Izayan, how his body leans forward in a way she is sure indicates he’d like to fuck him as hard as possible in the middle of the street if he could.

 

It isn’t just them though - Ikebukuro is a veritable hotpot of repressed gayness, simmering and about to explode, and she seems to be the only one hellbent on easing some of the tension. They should thank her, she thinks, whenever she mentions how compatible two men or two women are together. She's a professional wingman here, pointing out the obvious, simply helping others embrace their inner queerdom.

 

Instead, they rudely say her claims are unfounded, that she needs to get a grip and let it go because it’s nothing but a simple fangirl’s wet fantasy. Her gift goes highly underappreciated, but she knows Yumacchi only complains because it’s obvious he’s embarrassed about all the times he’s envisioned Dotachin stroking his hair as he rides him, slow and sensually, while whispering sweet nothings into his ear.

 

This especially goes for Dotachin, too, with his wistful looks and gratuitous lip licking at Togusa whenever he puts his foot hard on the gas and guns them out of dangerous situations like Evil fucking Kneival. Erika scoffs at the mere memory of it, because she’s in that van too! She isn’t stupid.

 

And Dotachin’s always laughing at Chikage’s lame jokes, even when no one else does. She can’t believe she has to pretend like it isn’t happening since Dotachin yelled at her last time for telling Chikage to his face that he ‘probably preferred bottom and should go easy on him’. Chikage’s thoughtful look told her all she needed to know that he was seriously considering it, so the joke was on Dotachin anyway.

 

Everyday, everywhere she goes, she has to sit around this overboiling homoerotic tension. Simon with his tiny extra winks towards Dennis, that Kida kid and his touchy-feely hands pawing all over his awkward buddy, the way that weird blue-haired guy glares when he sees Kida groping Mikaboo, Anri with her furious blushing and fumbling around Saki, Namie and her tsundere swooning over Mikage (she doesn’t have to see it to know it’s definitely happening somewhere). Shizu-chan seems especially keen on playing with multiple men’s hearts, as everytime she steps into Russia sushi, he’s there fawning over his cute older boss. Once she saw him laughing with Chikage, which was so an obvious attempt at flirting.

 

This Tanaka fellow though - they _must_ be on dates, who else eats out with their friends, or even coworkers, that much?

 

No one wastes that kind of money on platonic partners!

 

It’s all true, and she frankly doesn’t care if no one ever believes her or not. Izayan is gay as fuck (though only for Shizu-chan), Shizu-chan is at the very least bisexual and trying to woo over half of Ikebukuro’s male population, Dotachin most likely gives Togusa road head on nights she’s not around while Yumacchi watches, Kida secretly pines over the fact his lover and him are technically supposed to be rivals, and Chikage screams out Dotachin’s name instead when he fucks his girlfriends.

 

The only one who seems willing to admit to anything, however, is Izaya’s younger sister, Mairu. Erika once had a very long and exciting conversation with her speculating about what Vorona’s breasts must have looked like under that skin tight suit, and also if Namie’s could compare to such glory (of course they decided that it was practically evenly matched, though personally she was partial to Namie’s). It’s hardly a surprise about Mairu, considering she has the gayest brother in the universe. And one day, Iza-Iza will admit it as well, and it will be beautiful.

 

All of this aside, there is one thing she still can’t quite figure out.

 

Dotachin is seeing someone, all the signs are very clear. The problem is, with so many potential candidates, she can’t seem to narrow it down by a longshot.

 

Last month, he was wearing a scarf in the dead of summer. Even Yumacchi had pointed it out, asking a profusely flushing and stuttering Dotachin how he could be cold in the oppressive Tokyo heat. He’d only shrugged and looked away, made up some sorry excuse about being sick. Erika had narrowed her eyes in suspicion, wondering just how poorly Dotachin’s neck had fared. She’d been tempted to rip the damned thing off, but right as her hand had sneakily found its edge, Yumacchi twisted her wrist. The warning glare he’d sent her made it clear that although he wasn’t buying the story either, she shouldn’t meddle in his personal affairs.

 

Yumacchi was, as usual, no fun. Whoever this mystery person was, they were a biter, and that was extremely important to know more about in order to keep her headcanons about Dotachin in character. She’d tucked the information away, adding it up like a detective in a mystery novel investigating adulterous lovers.

 

Two nights ago, during a time where she caught the tail end of a fight with Shizuo and Izaya, she came back with Yumacchi from animate to find Dotachin with this goofy, lovestruck grin on his face. When she turned around to see who the culprit may be to such a gaze, she was torn as she saw him simply staring off towards the crowd the two infamous men had garnered. He appeared to be merely watching the commotion. There were at least twenty good-looking men in his line of sight who could have been potential objects of his affection.

 

In all actuality, due to an incident last week, she unfortunately isn’t so sure who he’s seeing is even _male_. She’s still in slight denial about it. It would be a serious defeat, a resignation of sorts, but she knows Dotachin doesn’t wear sweet smelling cologne. He came to see them that morning reeking of it, clothes rumpled and out of breath as he’d already been late to meet them. He must have run straight from whoever’s bed he’d been shacking up with. No, this particular sickening smell was one clearly manufactured for, and intended to be used, primarily by women.

 

She would know, she happens to own that brand herself.

 

Dotachin smiles like an idiot when he’s texting, hand tapping a mile a minute at the keyboard, giggles like a lovesick schoolgirl flowing out of him every so often as he stares at the screen. Dotachin sometimes meets them, hilariously enough, with his shirt or pants randomly on backwards. Dotachin walks around with such a dreamy expression on his face that it leads him to run into poles occasionally. Dotachin has been buying an insane amount of candies and cakes, despite not having much of a sweet tooth. She knows they aren't for him anyway, since he always tucks them away into his bag or pockets carefully and quickly, as if she won't notice.

 

When they ran into Shizu-chan, Tom, and Vorona the other day, he’d been too distracted to even say hi to them, focusing on a point far away that made Erika look around rapidly. There was no one else on the busy streets who seemed to be focusing on Dotachin in any sort of strange way, and her shoulders had deflated in defeat.

 

She’ll figure out this mystery, she’s sure of it, she thinks as she joins the others hanging out by the van after exiting the 7-11, shopping bag grasped determinedly in her hand. She isn’t surprised to see Shizu-chan there, he’s been stopping by a lot recently. He talks with them sparingly while burning fast through a cigarette, eyes downcast most of the time, but it only raises her suspicions on whom he probably sucked off the night before to be this awkward around them. Bets are on Yumacchi, as he seems to be pressed a bit too close for comfort on his right side.

 

Dotachin is leaning against the van near Shizu-chan’s other side, arms crossed as he listens, disinterested, to Togusa rant about Ruri’s new album. Usually glued to his phone (no doubt sexting this mystery person), it’s surprisingly nowhere in sight for once. _It must be dead_ , she concludes, searching for any sort of new hints from Dotachin about his secret lover for that day.

 

His current image, however, is highly distracting. He’s looking admittedly like a relaxed bad boy, pulling off a cool air she wishes she could honestly record because it’s something straight out of an anime. The only thing missing to the picture is a cigarette perched between his lips and maybe some dyed streaks in his hair. Everything else is there - the pulled down hat, the slinking posture, the aloof expression staring at nothing in particular. She’s about to ask Shizu-chan if she can bum a cigarette off him to try and get Dotachin to pose with it, when he speaks up as he flicks the butt to the ground and grinds it unnecessarily under his heel.

 

“Hey, Kadota, I meant to ask you earlier. Do you have any plans tonight?”

 

Dotachin finally looks up, eyes widening as if panicked. His gaze flits towards her briefly, and he clears his throat. Yumacchi and Togusa continue their conversation about Ruri - or more like, Yumacchi tries to argue with him about how 3-D women are no good and the perks of 2-D women seriously outweigh any that come with 3-D women, while Togusa vehemently protests because Ruri’s perfection is a direct example of how that’s not true.

 

“Um, no, I don’t...”

 

Erika perks up at that, tilting her head curiously. She could have sworn she heard Dotachin agreeing to Yumacchi earlier that he’d go to karaoke with them. Shizu-chan smiles then, a rare sight indeed, and he doesn’t half ass it like he usually does. It’s wide and gentle and the most handsome thing Erika’s ever seen. Shizu-chan’s eyes crinkle slightly with it, and she swears he has glorious dimples on both sides of his cheeks. She’s too distracted by its stunning beauty to even remember to take a picture to send to Iza-Iza anonymously like she often likes to do.

 

“Let’s go to that new restaurant that opened up down the street then, my treat.” Shizu-chan stares upwards, face pensive as he presses fingers thoughtfully to his chin. “It’s my turn, right?” He squints his eyes, then waves a hand flippantly in the air. “Ah, whatever, doesn’t matter. Offer still stands, I just got paid today.”

 

Dotachin’s eyes flicker to her again, unsure. She smiles, not minding if he decides to change his plans. Since she knows the location, she considers this could be a good opportunity for her to stalk him secretly whenever he leaves the restaurant so she can finally get some good information about his scandalous rendezvous’.

 

“Go for it, Dotachin! Yumacchi and I will drag Togusa to Karaoke instead! But tell me how their cakes are, I’ve been dying to try them. They have these cute themed ones that look really delicious.”

 

Now that she thinks about it, it’s really an expensive place. It’s the only reason she hasn’t ventured there herself, it’s way too fancy for her budget. Shizu-chan must have gotten some paycheck. Honestly, she’s too busy thinking about her rumbling stomach to register anything other than Shizu-chan’s mention of food. She’s glad she just bought that onigiri.

 

“...sure, I’d like that.”

 

Dotachin grins, moving to readjust his cap as he straightens out his back and pushes away from the van. Erika tries suppressing a snicker, but finds it tumbling out against her better judgment. Shizu-chan is always after new prey, it’s too bad Dotachin already has someone else.

 

“Ohh, it’s a date then, Dotachin, ha ha!” She teases, wriggling her eyebrows as she lands a jestful punch on his arm. She continues elbowing him in the side just in case he doesn’t get it, and he predictably pushes her away, huffing while tearing his gaze to the ground. Yumacchi claps a hand to his head, lets out a disgruntled and very unmanly squeak. She’s sure if Shizu-chan wasn’t in earshot he’d be telling her about how they are going to die now.

 

Shizu-chan cocks his head to her, looking a little taken aback. “Yeah, it is actually. How did you know?”

 

“ _Shizuo_!” Dotachin chokes, redness creeping into his cheeks. Yumacchi and Togusa abruptly stop talking. Erika inhales sharply, breath catching in her throat, because had she really heard that right?

 

“What?” Shizu-chan blinks innocently, looking between Dotachin and the rest of them, seemingly confused about the gravity of what he’s just revealed. His face sets into some faraway realization. He snaps his fingers. “ _Oh_. Right. She’s that fujo-whatever, isn’t she? Sorry, sorry.”

 

“Oh ho, what, really? Dotachin and _Shizu-Shizu_ , going on a date?! No way, no way!” She faintly is aware of herself shrieking, the bag of her purchases flying from her limp hand. Her breathing is coming out in excited pants now, trying in vain to attempt to keep herself from hyperventilating.

 

“Oh _god_ ,” Dotachin moans, back thumping onto the van again. He does it hard enough to evoke an automatic reprimand from Togusa, though the driver’s voice is barely above a whisper and cracks with his words.

 

“Don’t worry ‘bout it, I’m sure she’ll forget in no time,” Shizu-chan continues, attempting to smooth over the situation with his low, soothing voice as he draws nearer to Dotachin. A bigger lie has never been told, though she has no doubts that Shizu-chan - bless his adorable heart - thinks it’s true.

 

Yumacchi starts howling with laughter, slapping his knee as he doubles over. Togusa makes a praying gesture to the air.

 

It’s all over with what happens next.

 

Shizu-chan leans down, tips Dotachin’s chin up tenderly, and presses their lips together. It’s too quick and chaste for Erika’s liking, yet long enough to get Dotachin looking about twenty different shades of flustered. It’s intimate on a level even she questions whether it’s okay to be watching. The way Shizu-chan cups his face, the relaxed expression Dotachin has despite the situation, the eager lean of his body towards Shizu-chan, the brief tangle of Shizu-chan’s fingers in Dotachin’s hair as he ruffles it affectionately afterwards. She can officially die happy now.

 

Erika’s jaw drops, and she’s pretty sure she’s having a heart attack with how hard the sight has her heart beating. The highest pitched squeal leaves her lips. The missing pieces of the puzzle all click seamlessly together. She can’t believe this, of all the times her gift has chosen to fail her. How could she not have noticed what was always right in front of her?

 

Yumacchi and Togusa stare in silent bewilderment, mouths agape in a similar fashion as the reality also dawns on them that this is definitely not a one time thing. The atmosphere is a little tense and painfully awkward, but in typical Shizu-chan fashion, he seems blissfully unaware of it. He simply waves happily as he tells a mortified and very pale looking Dotachin that he’ll come back to pick him up in a few hours. Then he strides away, hands slipping into his pockets and slinking off somewhat hunched as if nothing out of the ordinary has happened.

 

Erika manages to snap a quick shot of his retreating backside this time, typing in a short caption with it to send to a certain informant’s number, before her hand stills as she remembers the actual side tragedy of the situation. She takes a moment to mourn before she sends it out of pity anyway.

 

Iza-Iza is going to be devastated.  
  


**Author's Note:**

> I think the bigger mystery here is how Izaya has been reacting to all those sexy pictures...


End file.
